195 Divorce, Abuse and Selfishness

In an attempt to trap Jesus the Pharisees ask Him a question about divorce. Jesus responds and tells them that divorce was never part of God's plan but only allowed because of the hardness of their hearts. God seems to specialize in concessions because there are many times He works with us where were are instead of insisting we conform to the high goal He has for us. We note that the situation for divorce back then was much different than it is today. Jesus blesses the children and confronts a rich man with the hard reality that it is not easy for the rich to enter the kingdom.

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SHOW NOTES

Matthew 19—Marriage, Children and Generosity

Discussion about Divorce and Marriage

19 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went down to the

region of Judea east of the Jordan River. 2 Large crowds followed him there, and he

healed their sick.

While the word “all” is not used to describe the extent of Jesus’ healing it is implied by “he

healed their sick.” This is yet another incident where Jesus performs a mass healing. Many of these incidents are noted in the comments on chapters 8 and 9.

3 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be

allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

The respected rabbi’s Hillel and Shammai differed on what was a legitimate cause for divorce. Whatever answer Jesus gave would be used against him

4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning

‘God made them male and female.’” 5 And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his

father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’6 Since they

are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

It is interesting that it is stated that the man leaves his parents to be joined to his wife when the opposite seems to happen. The woman leaves her parents to live with the man. But back to the text. Jesus us quoting from Genesis 2:24 and his intent is that these are the very words of God. It was impossible for them to ignore these words, so they try to pit Moses in Genesis against Moses in Deuteronomy 24 to justify their hard hearts.

7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of

divorce and send her away?” they asked. 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. 9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”

"anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” is added in some translations.

When God’s good will is disregarded, it is because our hearts are hard. There are many other cultural practices which are the result of hard hearts. Patriarchy, Monarchy, Slavery, War, uncontrolled Capitalism, and Divorce are examples. It was never meant to be this way. The last statement in verse 9 which seems to allow divorce is probably added since Jesus does not give exceptions in his teachings and because of the response of the disciples which follows below. We remember that in the older English translations there was a similar caveat about anger. The KJV for instance reads “But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment” (Matthew 5:22). The newer translations omit this caveat since the earliest manuscripts do not have it. We think a scribe added it.If the exception in verse 9 had been stated by Jesus the disciples would nothave responded as they did. Mark 10:11-12 which is a parallel passage and does not have the allowance for unfaithfulness by a wife.

10 Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!”

11 “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God

helps. 12 Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”

The disciple’s response and Jesus’ acknowledgement that not all can accept his statement implies there were no caveats in Jesus’ teaching on divorce.

If we divorce let us not justify our action but acknowledge our hardness of heart. Divorce is one of the most painful failures that can be experienced. Those who divorce merit our compassion not our condemnation. It is better to divorce than to consider murder. Sometimes one has to choose the lesser of two evils. A caveat is appropriate at this point: “While we were yet divorced Christ died for us.” We watch how believers talk about those who are divorced and if a believer divorces they know how they will be viewed and talked about. It is a very difficult decision, especially for women, to make.

Jesus Blesses the Children

Jesus now addresses another example of hardness of heart—the way children are be

marginalized.

13 One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.

14 But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of

Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” 15 And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left.

Jesus has a special regard for children. They are often mistreated because they are weaker than adults. They are part of the marginalized in most societies even though parents will usually object to this statement. Emotional neglect is one way children are marginalized in addition to sexual and physical abuse. Children are just as much loved by God as any adult.

The Rich Man

16 Someone came to Jesus with this question: “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?”

One can be legally law-abiding and selfish. One can pay tithe and give offerings as per the requirement of the law and not be self-sacrificing because the motive is that of the reward for legal compliance. When we give to God so he can bless us materially our giving becomes a prosperity insurance premium.This incident is a real challenge for those who believe we can earn salvation by obedience.

Salvation is a gift, and it is not earned. There are rewards born of God’s generosity in this life and the life to come. We must not conflate gifts and rewards.

17 “Why ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. But

to answer your question—if you want to receive eternal life, keep the commandments.”

18 “Which ones?” the man asked. And Jesus replied: “‘You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely. 19 Honor your father and mother. Love your neighbor as yourself.’” 20 “I’ve obeyed all these commandments,” the young man replied. “What else must I do?”

Jesus does not challenge the man on his shallow understanding of obedience. He rather touches the man where the law does not reach, the matter of self-sacrificing generosity.

21 Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the

money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Notice that if the man follows Jesus’ advice, he will have treasure in heaven. Heaven is not the treasure since it is a gift. The treasure is in addition to being in heaven. It is a reward.

22 But when the young man heard this, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

23 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is very hard for a rich person to

enter the Kingdom of Heaven. 24 I’ll say it again—it is easier for a camel to go through

the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!”

Jesus is pointing out that rich people, who were regarded as blessed by God, are not rewarded with heaven as another blessing. He uses extreme hyperbole to make his point. Even the smallest camel could not pass through the eye of the largest needle. In Judaism riches and heaven were conflated. This is why the disciples are astonished.

25 The disciples were astounded. “Then who in the world can be saved?” they asked.

26 Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with

God everything is possible.”

The seriousness of this teaching is emphasized by “Jesus looked at them intently.” We cannot earn or deserve salvation any more than we can earn or deserve our physical birth. Both are gifts of God.

27 Then Peter said to him, “We’ve given up everything to follow you. What will we get?”

Grasping, selfishly motivated Peter represents all of us. Jesus does not rebuke Peter for his greed but assures him that there will be reward enough for those who give up anything for the Kingdom.28 Jesus replied, “I assure you that when the world is made new and the Son of Man sits upon his glorious throne, you who have been my followers will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.

We may come to Jesus initially because of our selfishness. We want to avoid hell and gain heaven. However if we allow the Spirit to reveal his love as he lived and ministered on earth then this love captures our imagination. Love has gripped us by its grace and we joyfully embrace its call. At the same time Jesus promises rewards out of this world in generosity, a hundred-fold.

It is not the fear of punishment or the hope of everlasting reward that moves the disciple

of Christ to follow him. They behold his matchless love, revealed throughout his

pilgrimage on earth from the manger of Bethlehem to the cross of Calvary. The sight of

him softens and subdues the soul. Love is awakened in the hearts of the beholders; they

hear his voice and follow him.” DA480

Ian Hartley, December 2024